I'm lost :(

I don't know what happened lately......

I thought I will be alright since I've found my GOALS back.......

I guess the pressure is just too much......

Too much for me to handle all by myself........

I need someone to talk with......

BUT WHO???

I wish myself can answer that.......

It is not that no one willing to do so.....

It is about how well and how much can I express my feelings to that "one".......

How much he can understand my mind and makes me accept his words.......

Ain't easy to do so since I already had my own sets of thought........

I thought I was used to be a person who can resolve every problems of my own.......

But now I knew I'm not.......

Not anymore......

My brain seems to have lost every single functions it has........

And I'm just stuck.......

Maybe it's overload but how the hell am I gonna empty it or at least dig out some out of it???

I'm totally lost.......

It's just matter of time before I totally breakdown.......

Maybe that's the only way to resolve my problems........

I have to break it all down and build everything up once more........

Wish me luck.

Stay focused!!!

BACK ON TRACK

These few days was a tough one......

The semester exam was near and I got to prepare for it(craps=.=")........

But it was not the ordinary days where I just went to sleep after studying for hours............

When I was reading at the book, something happened.......

Suddenly, all kinds of thought started to cross through my mind........

What I worried about were no longer about the exam........

"What am I doing now???"

"What am I study for???"

"Am I doing the right things???"

"Do I have a purpose of doing all these studies???"

These questions kept haunting me even when I fell asleep......

Then I started to think harder and deeper..........

A lot of things starting to cross through my mind........

It's like going through my whole life once again.........

Guess what......

I seems to have found the answer.........

I'm having trouble simply because I forget about my DREAM........

Before that, I was a kid with crazy dreams and full of passion with THEM........

As I grew, money and rationalism seems to take place in my mind.......

"You must study hard to ensure a well-paid career after school life."

"Next time you must be a professional."

"Money will ensure an easy life."

These are what I heard from my parents, my teachers, my neighbours or most of the human I chat with......

As I grew, I was forced to keep my dreams aside.......

After some times, I seems to forget about THEM, which is very pathetic for me personally......

After knowing that, I kept flashing back about my childhood dreams and everything I had use dreamed before.......

I SMILE........

"I want to fly a plane."

"I want to have my own LAW in the physics textbook."

"I want to proof the BIG GUY in the book was wrong."

"I want to exceed the speed of sound."

"I want to get my name in the Nobel Prize list."

The list keeps going on and on and on.......

Wow, I am serious daydreamer I guessed......^^

You may laugh at me.......

SO WHAT!!!!

I rather spending my whole life chasing my dreams than sitting in the office doing the same things as millions of people around the world do ( or even counting money).......

Dreams are not about how do-able they are. It's about how ridiculous they are.

I might not be anywhere near there yet........

But I'll try.......

I'll try my best (or nearly) to reach them........

Since I found my dreams back, I was sort of REBORN......

I found the other purpose of me studying throughout the nights.......

I will continue studying........

But this time, not for the exams........

It's all about the knowledges and my dreams.......

Knowledges I gain now are not for the exam.........

They will be the one that help me to realize my dreams OR to proof that my dreams are wrong........

I may not be a millionaire........

But who cares.......

I'm happy with that..........

I'm writing all these down not to showing the whole world how big is my dreams........

I'm doing so to remind me........

Remind me for every single moment that

I'm a guy with DREAMS. :)